Where's the Stimulus Money??

From pennlive.com

A day late and more than a dollar short.

Here's a roundup of other news from April 1.

"No more mopin' around," Gov. Ed Rendell says
by The Patriot-News Editorial Board
Wednesday April 01, 2009, 12:15 PM

The news about job losses, bank busts and desperate automakers is not getting any better.

Gov. Ed Rendell is trying to do his part to aid the citizens of the commonwealth.

His latest plan is to use about $15 million from the federal stimulus funds pouring into the state to try and change the mood of Pennsylvanians.

The Patriot-News has learned that the money will be spent to hire clowns, mimes, magicians, street performers and comedians (nothing blue) who will be dispatched to malls, fairs and festivals across the state to boost morale.

The governor's idea is based on history: During World War II performers helped keep Americans' spirits up while they were faced with food and gas rationing.

The governor and his economic team believe if people begin feeling more positive they might begin spending more money, which will boost the economy and hopefully bring about more jobs to the commonwealth.

The merriment will be conducted through a new Headquarters of Economic and Emotive Efforts, or HEEE.

No estimate yet on how many performers will be needed to fan out across Pennsylvania, but clearly some counties will need more cheering up than others.

One of the concerns, however, is that the national shortage of clowns at the moment -- due to the foreclosure of the largest clown school in Florida -- could spell difficulties for hiring the needed numbers.

We would recommend that the clowns could be replaced in a pinch by former Wall Street investors eager to relocate and willing to trade their bonuses for Bozo shoes.

We wholeheartedly agree with the governor's approach. Months into this economic mess, we all need something to make us laugh.

So the next time you go to the Colonial Park Mall, look for the guy juggling bowling pins outside the Sears store, but if you don't catch him, we at least hope reading this will make you chuckle.

After all, it is April Fool's Day.